Broken
by LawAndOrderSVUAddict
Summary: "They were both broken, but what if they were gonna be broke together, would that make them whole again?" E/O angst/romance. Rated M for later chapters.
1. Chapter 1

**Broken**

**Story is set in season 14. Elliot never left and is in the middle of a divorce. **

**Please REVIEW if you have the time, I'd really appreciate it. I hope y'all like it!**

Hard cases were nothing new for detective Olivia Benson. She had to deal with hard cases for over 14 years now, every case seemed to be more horrific than the other. The reason she could hang on; the reason she found the strenght to deal with it; the reason she still found some 'happiness' in her job and life; _**Elliot Stabler**_**.** He was the reason. She loved him with all her heart. She would do anything just to be _**his.**_

He told her he was getting a divorce. He had gotten a divorce before; they always find their way back to each other. But this time was different, he had said. 'We aren't getting back together anymore. Kathy and i are through'. ''Kathy and i are through''. The sentence kept repeating itself in her head. Would it be true? Are Kathy and Elliot really finished? So many questions flashed through her mind, so little answers. She needed answers. She needs answers so she could either move on with her life, or so she could finally do what she should've done 14 years ago; _**go for him.**_

She stared at the phone in her lap. All she had to do was call him. Call him and ask him if he wanted to have a drink with her. That way she can ask her questions. Questions she doesn't want to ask over the phone. But there was this little voice in the back of her head saying 'don't do this, his answers aren't going to be the ones you want them to be. You're gonna end up hurt'. She kept scrolling through her contacts and stopped when she saw Elliot's name; but she never called. She just pressed him away. 'Ah, hell to it' she said to herself as she finally pressed the 'call' button. She took a deep breath as she heard the phone going over. 'Hi Liv' she heard him say. They way he said her name; her nickname, already made her blush. She was pathetic. Or maybe this is just how it feels to be in love. Really in love. 'Elliot, hi' Olivia said as casually as possible. 'How are you doing?'. She decided to start the conversation lightly, because she wasn't completely sure about how hard he was taking the break-up. 'I'm doing okay under the circumstances' Elliot replied softly. Damn it, she couldn't do it. He sounds broken. It was quite for a few seconds. "Liv, are you still here?" Elliot asked. She wanted to tell him she was always there; literally. Instead she went with the safer answer; "Yes, I'm still here El".

"Liv…i…I need you" Elliot said softly, so softly he wasn't even sure she heard it. But she did. Oh, she really heard him. Loud and clear. The words hit her hard; _**I need you.**_

"What do you mean?" Olivia asked unsure. "You heard me" Elliot replied softly; _**broken**_.

Olivia shook her head; she wanted to do anything for him. She would do anything to make him feel better, but she was totally flabbergasted. She thought she'd be hysterically happy if Elliot would ever say those words and a part of her was, but the biggest part of her was just very confused. "Can I come over?" she heard Elliot ask. It snapped her back to reality, out of her thoughts. Olivia lost her ability to speak for a while. Him coming over was nothing special, he did that lots of times, but never under the circumstances he's in right now. And he never told her he needed her. at least, not that specific. "If you don't want me to come over, I totally understand. I don't want you to feel like you're _**obligated**_ to say yes" Elliot said understanding. There were forming tears behind her eyes now. Did he really think she would feel obligated? She loved for him to come over to her place, she always did. If it was up to her, he'd be there forever. She was scared to talk, scared she was gonna choke on her words. She suppressed her tears and took a deep breath. "Elliot, ofcourse you can come over. You know you're always welcome" she replied sweetly. "I'll see you in few" he said before he broke the connection.

Olivia was sitting on the couch when the doorbell rang. She slowly walked to the door, preparing her for the worse. He sounded so broke on the phone. She had no idea how he would be; would he be very quiet, would he be angry, would he be lost. Or would he be all of the above. Two pairs of crystal blue eyes met hers when she opened the door. "Come in" she almost whispered as she let him in. "Thanks" Elliot said as he walked in and sat down on her couch. "Do you want anything to drink?" Olivia asked him. "No, I'm good" he said softly. Olivia looked at him for a moment before she sat down next to him. There was this awkward silence between them. Something that didn't happen often between them. "Elliot, are you gonna tell me what's really going on?" Olivia asked a little agitated. She wanted to help him more than anything, but he had to talk. She was done with the mixed signals, done with him assuming she could just read his mind, done with the doubts. She needed some clarity. And she was determent to get it tonight.

"What do you think is going on Olivia?" Elliot snapped. "Kathy left".

"She left before…" Olivia said harshly. A bit too harsh maybe.

"This time is different, she's not coming back" Elliot said. "She's done. And I can't blame her".

"Elliot, why are you here?" Olivia asked softly. "Because I … I told you already, I need you right now" he answered. "That's not what I mean El, I mean what do you want from me?" Olivia rephrased. It was took a while before Elliot answered. He looked her deep in the eyes and she was starting to get startled. Scared even. "I lied. I lied Liv. I had to tell Kathy, I couldn't keep it to myself any longer" he started. Olivia had no idea what he was talking about, but had the feeling she would find out soon. "Kathy told me I wasn't dedicated enough. Not dedicated enough to make our relationship work. I told her she was wrong. I really believed that, but I just realized she was right. I wasn't completely dedicated. The only reason I stayed with her was because of the kids. But I never gave my all in our relationship. At least not the last couple years. I couldn't give her all my heart, because my heart belongs to another" Elliot said, letting it all out. "You cheated on her?" Olivia asked startled, because that so wasn't like him. "Not technically".

"What does that mean?" Olivia asked impatiently. She needed Elliot to be clear right now. "It means I didn't sleep with someone else, but if I had to choose between her or Kathy, I would choose her in a heartbeat". Olivia didn't know what to feel; confusion, anger, sympathy, _**jealousy**_, it was all there. The jealousy part was the worst. Elliot was the only one who had her heart. Which means he is the only one who could break it too. She couldn't deal with the idea of him being in love with someone else he'd just met, instead of her, who'd been there by his side for nearly 14 years. Elliot finally did it, he'd _**broke her**_. She was officially broken down. "Who is it?" she asked vulnerable while she had a hard time holding back the tears. He looked at her with a look of defeat. He was tired, she could see it in his eyes. But he wasn't 'tired', he was tired of running, tired of the lies, tired of the endless struggle. He reached the end of his rope. **They were both broken, but what if they were gonna be broke together, would that make them whole again?** "Who is it Elliot?" Olivia asked again, this time with more power behind her voice. "_**It's you"….**_

**A/N Sorry for the cliffhanger, but I promise I won't leave y'all hanging, I wanna continue this story, but I need your reviews. Much Love xxx**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N : This chapter will contain a bit mo re mature content. Please review, review s make my day! Enjoy ;) ! **

Olivia was sure she'd heard him wrong. D id he just say it was her?

"Elliot…I…I don't know….I don't know wha t to say" Olivia choked out; her whole w orld spinning. "I understand I caught yo u off guard and I'm not trying to put yo u in a weird position or anything" Ellio t said softly. "I think it's already a b it too late for that now Elliot" Olivia replied honestly. "I've been in love wit h you for so long Liv, I can't hide it a nymore. I know you feel the same way". **What did he just say?**

"Excuse me?" Olivia said shocked.

"Tell me you don't love me"

"I do love you Elliot".

"_**I mean, tell me you don't love me in 'th at' way"**_

Elliot's eyes locked with hers. She knew he would see right through her if she l ied, but he was being so cocky; she woul dn't give him the satisfaction.

She shook her head; "Elliot, you're conf used. Your wife just left you, you feel lonely, I get it. But I won't be your _**rebound**_, I just won't do it" Olivia said surely . "You think that's what you are to me? A freaking rebound?" Elliot stated; obvi ously pissed.

Olivia was quite taken back by his sudde n outburst and waited a few seconds befo re she answered; "I'm sorry" she said. " You should be" Elliot replied angrily.

"Jesus El, you just barge in here and te ll me you love me. Is it that weird for me to be a little suspicious?" Olivia sn apped back. Elliot

"Don't pretend like you didn't know I li ked you more than just a friend. We've b een hiding our feelings for each other f or more than 13 years and we did a horri ble job at it".

"Stop talking for me Elliot. You don't k now if I like you more than just a close friend. _**You're assuming". **_

"Then tell me I'm wrong" he said.

"Don't do this" she said; desperation an d sadness floating through the sentence as she said it.

"Why not?"

"Because I can't do this. I can't do thi s with you".

"Why not?"

"Because I don't want to get hurt again Elliot".

"You won't" he said certain.

He moved closer to her and gently touche d her face. Olivia felt herself getting weak at his touch. She suddenly felt the need to be closer to him; she needed mo re. More of him.

"I've never been so close with anyone in my whole entire life El, I don't want t o wreck that" she managed to get out.

"_**Then don't**_" he said as he crashed his lips on her. It started out slowly, gentle, but it s oon changed into an eager and passionate kiss. All the feelings they had bottled up for so many years, all came out in t his one moment. All the doubts Olivia ha d before, flew straight out the window. She wanted him. Hell, who was she kiddin g? She **needed** him.

A soft moan escaped Olivia's lips when E lliot gently bit her lip. She never knew something so wrong could feel so right, but it did.

"If you aren't completely sure you want this, you have to stop me now, because I won't be able to stop later on" Elliot said in a low voice; dripping with need. 

Olivia tried to think, really think, bec ause if she was going to go through with this; it would change everything betwee n them.

"Do you want me to stop Olivia?" …..

**A/N Okay, so this is my first attempt of writing a bit more mature stuff. Don't be too harsh on me LOL. Please review & tell me if you want me to continue this story. **


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N Okay guys…here it is. My first ATTEMPT to writing smut. It's probably not that great, but I promised there would be a smutty chapter & I'm one to keep my word. I hope you enjoy ;)**

Olivia's heart was racing; ofcourse she **didn't** want him to stop, but the aftermath of this decision was gonna be huge. She needed time to think. She needed time; which wasn't there.

''Do you want me to stop Olivia?'' Elliot said seductively in her ear as he placed kisses down her neck. ''Elliot..'' Olivia said softly. ''Yes Liv?'' Elliot said while he continued his delicious assault on her neck. ''We shouldn't do this'' she whispered. ''There are so many things we shouldn't do Liv...'' Elliot said in a low voice; not once stopping his actions.

''Let me ask you again, do you want me stop?''.

''**No**'' came her quick answer. Elliot smirked. ''Than what do you want?'' Elliot asked teasingly. He was gonna make her say it, _**he was fucking gonna make her say it out loud**_. ''I want for you not to stop'' she said softly; a bit embarrassed, but so turned-on.

Elliot smiled again; letting out a soft chuckle. ''Cocky son of a bitch'' she whispered harshly. ''No need to be rude'' he joked while he softly laid her down on the couch and stared her deep in her eyes. ''Screw you El'' she said. ''I'm getting there, no need to rush'' he replied. Oh, she was close to slapping him right then and there, but she kept her cool. Elliot smiled when he realized his message came across and she didn't stop him. Elliot waited a couple seconds before acting again; he crashed his lips on hers again. Their tongues fought for dominance when Elliot suddenly pulled back. ''What's going on?'' Olivia breathed heavily. ''I wanna make this special, a bit more romantic. Let's take this to the bedroom'' he suggested sweetly.

''Never thought of you as Mister. Romantic'' she said. ''You're wrong'' he replied. ''Am I?'' she said seductively. ''Oh yes'' he said while he lifted her off the couch and carried her to the bedroom. He lowered her down on the bed and took a moment just to look at her. ''Something's wrong?'' Olivia asked nervously. ''Do you know how beautiful you are?'' he asked; his voice suddenly serious again. ''Elliot don't..'' she whispered as she looked away. ''Don't what?'' he asked surprised. ''Don't say that, it makes me feel uncomfortable''. Elliot frowned; ''You really are something else Liv'' he said while he walked up to her and pushed her into the mattress and kissed her. She gasped when she suddenly felt his hand beneath her shirt.

''Relax baby'' he whispered against her lips.

With one short movement he had ripped off her shirt.

''I thought you wanted to make this 'romantic'?'' she asked playful. ''I got impatient'' he said dryly. **She laughed**. He kissed her again, while he opened her zipper and she tugged her pants down, not once pulling away from their kiss. He trailed kissed down her stomach and she let out a soft moan in response. ''Elliot, I want..'', but she chocked on her words when she felt his fingers stroking the inside of her thigh. He chuckled and withdrew his hand; meeting her gaze again while he pushed himself up so they were facing each other again. **''What do you want Liv**?'' his voice was low, almost a whisper. She didn't answer. He knew what she wanted, he wanted the same thing.

''What do you want Liv?' he asked again, while he took off his shirt and lowered himself upon her again. She felt his bare stomach against hers and pressed her eyes shut and suppressed a moan. Elliot's hands started to un-clip her bra; he had it off in seconds. He kissed her neck, down to her chest...breasts. But then he stopped. He looked into her eyes and saw they were shut tightly. He grinned before he flickered his tongue against her nipple and got the exact reaction he was hoping for. She gasped and opened her eyes. ''Elliot'' she breathed heavily.

He waited a couple seconds before repeating his former action. ''Don't...Tease...'' she managed to get out. ''Than tell me what you want, Liv'' Elliot said with a cocky grin on his face. She grunted out of irritation and lust. ''Tell me''.

She was already losing her mind, her vision was blurry, she didn't care about anything at this moment, she just wanted him. Needed him.

''I want you El. Please'' she begged.

He took her nipple in his mouth one more time, before releasing it. A moan escaped her mouth. ''Please El, just make love to me. Stop the teasing'' she said.

She felt him positioning himself at her entrance and in a reflex she shut her eyes again. They both let out a soft moan while he was entering her. ''Damn Liv...you feel so good'' Elliot said panting. Olivia lost all ability to talk.

She was **having sex** with Elliot. Her _**partner**_. Married until recently. Off limits...**until recently**. ''Open your eyes for me baby'' she heard Elliot say.

She opened her eyes as Elliot thrust into her again. ''Oh my god'' she whimpered.

_**Damn, she was sexy.**_

She held on to his back and scratched him a little when she felt him thrust. ''I'm close'' she panted. ''Me too, it's okay, just let go'' he said out of breath.

He was hitting all the right spots and Olivia was losing her mind to all the sensations he was creating. Olivia felt herself starting to tremble, her head flew back into her pillow, her grip on Elliot's back became firmer, her breathing was heavy and a loud scream escaped her throat; supposedly Elliot's name.

''My god baby'' she yelled as she felt her walls pulsating. ''Livvvv!'' Elliot yelled.

They both had the most mind blowing orgasms of their lives. Elliot laid down next to hear; both trying to catch their breath. The reality sunk in hard for the both of them; **what they just did, changes everything. Their relationship changed. They changed. **

Olivia was still breathing fast, her heart rate was probably dangerously high, she felt like passing out. All the sensations she'd felt in the past minutes, all the bottled up frustration they let out after years, the love she felt for the man lying beside her, the confusion…it was all too much.

Elliot was still trying to process what has happened. He banged his partner, the woman he was in love with for several years, the woman that changed his life in a way he never ought possible.

There was this silence between them; like they both knew everything had changed, but they were too scared to actually say it out loud; **making it real.**

''Elliot...we have to..-' but Elliot cut her off; ''I know. We have to talk about this'' he said softly.

There was a silent moment again. Elliot searched for eye contact and when he had it, Olivia saw something in his eyes; something uneasy. Like he was scared. And then it hit her_**; he thought she felt like this was a huge mistake. **_She couldn't blame him. For years, she pretended like she hadn't had any feelings for him. She listened to every sob story about his wife, she even gave him advice on how to keep Kathy. There was no way in hell, Elliot would see her next comment coming; ''I don't regret it Elliot'' Olivia said sweetly as she gently squeezed his arm.

''You're sure?'' he asked softly, not sure if he heard her correctly.

''As sure as I've ever been''

**A/N Okay, I hope y'all are still bearing with me on this story. It will get angsty, but their also will be a lot off fluff. Maybe more smut too, that depends on how y'all liked this. PLEASE REVIEW! **


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: This chapter will be a bit dark, but things will get lighter later on. I hope you enjoy!**

She woke up, feeling happy. Genuinely **happy**. Something she didn't feel often. She woke up in his arms; something she didn't think she'd ever experience.

But she did and it was so peaceful; a true _**blessing**_.

''Hey'' he whispered softly as he slowly opened his eyes, pulled her in closer and placed a soft kiss on her lips.

''Hey'' she smiled. She could do nothing else than to just stare at him. She was so in love; it may not even be healthy.

''Are you okay?'' Elliot asked while he stroke the left side of her face with his fingers.

''Yes El, I'm fine. I'm just a little confused'' she admitted.

''About us?'' Elliot asked. She closed her eyes and nodded her head; ''Yes, about us'' she replied nervously. Elliot completely understood how she was feeling, he felt the same way. But he was 100% certain he wanted to be with her. _**He has her now and he's not about to let her go**_. ''We broke a personal rule'' Olivia almost whispered as she turned her back to Elliot and firmly held on to her pillow case. This was the moment. Elliot knew this was gonna happen, they both did.

They get close, too close maybe, Olivia gets scared, she tries to run. It's up to Elliot now, to make sure she doesn't. And he's determent to make her stay. She can't leave. Not now. **Not ever**. She has his heart. He can't let her leave with it.

''Olivia, I know you're scared. You've been hurt so many times before, you hate opening up. But this is me. Not some jerk you used to date. I'm your partner''.

Olivia turned around again; facing Elliot again. Her eyes were watery and the expression on her face was panicked. ''That's exactly the problem Elliot, you're my partner''.

They were using their whole names, not their nicknames. **They were serious**. ''Olivia, us being partners makes it complicated, I admit. But it doesn't make it impossible. You always wanting to run, does'' Elliot said honestly, tired of spinning around it.

''So if this thing fails, it's on me?'' Olivia asked defensive. ''No, but if you don't give us; this, a chance, it is on you'' Elliot replied softly.

Olivia shook her head; ''You can't say that'' Olivia whispered while she pushed back the tears that were threatening to spill. ''I love you Liv. _**Nothing complicated about that''**_ Elliot said. ''How are your kids going to feel about this? What if they're going to be mad at you, you'll think that's my fault. You'll leave. I'll be left alone again. I can't take that El'' Olivia said; pouring her heart and soul out right now, she didn't care anymore. She couldn't lie. Not to Elliot.

''You really think I'll do that? Do you really expect me to hurt you like that?'' Elliot asked **defeated**. She definitely has hurt his feelings with her last comment.

''I don't know, it's possible I guess'' she said; her voice weak from emotions.

''No it's **not **possible Liv'' Elliot said as he jumped out of the bed and got dressed.

''What are you doing?'' Olivia asked a little taken back by his actions.

Elliot didn't reply, he just kept looking for his shirt. He found it in the corner of the room, put it on and left the bedroom.

Olivia took a deep breath before she jumped out too, put on a her robe and followed Elliot into the living room. ''Elliot, what are you doing? _**Talk to me''**_ Olivia pleaded. Her head was spinning; **was he mad at her right now?**

''I'm leaving. I won't come back until you realize it's not possible for me to just leave you like that'' he replied.

She felt numb; she couldn't move. And then something snapped inside her. She could feel her blood boiling.

"I need you to realize I could never leave you" Elliot said again.

**''You're doing it right now''** she yelled while a tear streamed down her face. Elliot shook his head wildly, a bit surprised by her sudden outburst. This isn't going the way it's supposed to. _**But does it ever?**_

''No I'm not''. He grabbed her hands and held them against his chest. ''I'm not leaving you Liv. I'm giving you space. I think you need it right now. Figure out what you want, Liv. Call me when you're sure about what you want'' he explained as he let go of her hands.

Olivia shook her head; still mad as hell, but mostly sad. Sad about how this is going. Sad because she was right. This was never going to work. **They made a mistake**.

"This was wrong" she said softly; wiping the tears from her face. "What was wrong?" Elliot said confused. "This. Us. It'll never work" Olivia said while she tried to keep her emotions under control. She already let him see her cry, she wasn't gonna let him see her breaking down completely. "I can't do this on my own Liv. If we want to make this work, we both have to work for it. Right now, I don't believe you can do that" Elliot said hurtful. She couldn't believe he just said that. "**I don't believe you can do that**", the words kept repeating themselves in her head. "Just go Elliot" she said abruptly. Elliot glanced up at her one more time before walking out the door. The door shut behind him and she let herself fall on her couch.

The tears were streaming down fast, her breath got stuck in her throat and she couldn't help but sob loudly. She laid down on her back, thinking about everything that was said this morning.

"**I could never leave you**" Elliot had said, _**but where was he now?**_

"**We broke a personal rule" **she remembered herself say. _**That was stating the obvious.**_

Her mind was racing again. She tried to process all that had happened. It was just 11:15 AM, but she felt like she'd been awake for a whole day. **How could she have been so stupid?**

**Why in the hell did she agree to sleeping with him? **

**How could she let her guard down like that? **

The tears just wouldn't stop streaming down. She was so close to getting him. She was so close to happiness. The most cruel part of this was she now actually experienced a taste of this happiness. _**She now knows what she's missing. **_

She gave herself a couple minutes to calm down, before she grabbed her laptop and opened her e-mail. She wanted to call him, but she couldn't find the courage to do so right now, so she decided to go with the second best option; mail.

"_**Dear El,**_

_**I want you to know I never meant to hurt you, you're the most important person in my life and the thought of losing you kills me. I'm scared that what we did last night, ruined everything.**_

_**We will never be the same again. **_

_**I can't be what you want me to be to you. **_

_**I can't give you what you deserve.**_

_**So you leave me no choice El, I love you so much. I don't want to be the reason you're hurting. I can't take that. Promise me you'll move on, promise me you will find someone who truly deserves you and who's going to make you truly happy. **_

_**I'm so sorry that person can't be me.**_

_**I need to go El. I hope we'll meet again in the future. **_

_**I know we will. Because I may not be religious, but I do believe in destiny. **_

_**Much Love, **_

_**Liv.**_

Her hands were shaking, she can't believe she's actually doing this. While the tears fell down and her head was spinning, she pressed the 'send' button.

**A/N I know, I know, this was a sad/angsty chapter, but I PROMISE things will get better for Liv & El. Just bear with me please ;) Thanks for reading & PLEASE review, it means so much to me!**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N Enjoy ;)**

**''She left and all he's getting is a fucking e-mail?''** Elliot couldn't believe what he just read. ''Promise me you'll move on'' _**how could she**_ say that. She knows he'll never move on, because she's his everything.

He felt hurt, sad, broken, angry... He didn't want to be angry at her, but he couldn't help himself. He thought they had something more, something special; how could she just leave him behind like this?

_**Leave SVU...**_

He tried to call her at least 20 times, but she never picked up. He even went to her apartment twice this morning, but she wouldn't let him in. He thought about using his emergency key, but he couldn't do it...yet.

''Liv, please pick up your phone, I really need to talk to you. You're making a huge mistake. **Please** Liv'' Elliot had left on her voicemail.

She didn't call back.

He had to do something, he couldn't let her leave and make the biggest mistake of her life.

Olivia was sitting on her couch; staring blankly ahead. She had packed most of her stuff and had two full suitcases standing in her bedroom.

She still had to call Cragen...turn her papers in. She knew she could easily retire already; she almost never took a day off. She worked more than most 67 year olds had in their whole life. But if she did this, there'd be no turning back. She loves her job, she feels good about what she does. Her job is her life. How could she walk away from it. She dialed her captain's number at least 4 times, but hung up right away.

She thought about all the memories she had with Elliot; the good and bad ones..

_**''I'm your partner, for better or worse''.**_

''You have a problem with Ash?

_**No, but your MY partner''**_

A couple things Elliot said and she could never forget. The tears started to stream down her face again; they ruined everything by getting intimate with each other. How was she ever going to forgive herself?

Elliot's head was spinning. His knuckles went white from gripping his steering-wheel so tightly. He didn't know what he was gonna see when he opened her door. He doesn't know how she'll react; will she kick him out, will she start yelling..crying?

He didn't know and that frightened him.

But there was one thought that kept crossing his mind, that scared him the most: **What if she's already gone?**

Olivia probably hasn't cried as much in her life as she had the past couple hours. All the things she shared with Elliot, all the experiences they had with each other, all the long nights of doing paperwork together, all the terrible coffee they drunk at the precinct.

She was going to walk away from it all and it hit her hard.

She went through some pictures of her and El last night and realized she'd never had such a healthy, real relationship with anyone. He was her world, her rock, how in the world is she ever going to get over leaving him ?

That's when she heard it; the knock on her door.

Her heart jumped again, just like the previous two knocks had accomplished.

She knew it was Elliot. _**Again**_. She made no sound, hoping he'd think she was already gone.

''Liv, come on, let me in. I know you're there'' Elliot said agitated.

_**Olivia's heart was racing; what is she gonna do now?**_

''Fine Liv. You left me no choice'' he said softly.

What the hell was he talking about? Olivia thought.

That's when he she heard Elliot opening her door with his key.

''Son of a bitch'' she hissed while Elliot swung the door open with force.

''Get out!'' she yelled while she walked up to him.

''No'' was Elliot's simple reply.

She was standing right in front of him, not once looking away; trying to be intimidating.

When she realized she was in for a long lost battle, she backed off. He actually intimidated her more.

''You can't just barge in here like it's your place Elliot!' she said angrily as she turned around and walked into her bedroom.

**Good, he's in**. That's all Elliot thought, while he followed her. ''Liv, just stop for a second and talk to me'' he said.

''There's nothing to talk about'' she said coldly as she grabbed her two suitcases and put them against her door. Elliot's eyes widened; she had actually packed?

''How are you gonna survive with two suitcases and no house?'' Elliot said while he couldn't suppress a chuckle, because this was actually the dumbest move she ever made.

''I'm going to stay in a hotel for a while'' she replied softly.

''Why go to a hotel when you've got a nice apartment?'' Elliot asked.

''I need to be gone from this place. Gone from everything I know. I want to start over somewhere else'' she said while she walked around her living room and looked at every inch of the space.

''Are you looking for something?'' Elliot asked a bit irritated because she was doing everything but giving him the opportunity to really talk to her.

'I'm looking for my car keys'' she snapped back. **Why couldn't he just leave?**

**''You're not going anywhere** **Liv'**' he said firmly.

Olivia eyes shot up to his; _**''Try stopping me''**_ she said blinded with anger.

She saw something flicker inside Elliot's eyes and she knew it right away: _**She shouldn't have said that…..**_

''Fine'' he mumbled softly as he suddenly walked up to her. The way he was looking at her, actually made Olivia step back.

''Elliot, what the h-'' but she was cut off by Elliot who forcefully grabbed her arm. ''Elliot, let go'' she said stunned. She tried to jerk her arm away, but Elliot grabbed both her wrists and pulled her closer against him, so he could whisper into her ear: ''I'm not letting you go''.

Olivia closed her eyes, trying to push back the tears who were threatening to spill.

''I already made my decision'' she said softly, weak. She knew it didn't sounded determent at all and Elliot picked up on it too; ''You sure?'' he asked her while he tightened the grip on her wrists. It wasn't even his intention, he was just so scared of losing her; he wanted to hold her as tightly as possible, as if it was gonna make her stay with him.

''Let me go Elliot'' it wasn't even a statement, it was more of a plea.

''I can't'' he said softly. _**''I can't let you go, Liv'**_' that sentence had a double meaning and Olivia knew it.

''I can't do this El. Please don't do this''.

''How can you just walk away, Liv?'' Elliot asked softly while he pressed her even tighter against him.

''I have to'' she answered softly.

''No you don't'' Elliot said while he lifted her chin so she was directly looking into his eyes. Olivia quickly looked away.

''You can't leave SVU Liv. I know you''.

**I KNOW YOU**. The words hit her hard.

''I don't know what I'm supposed to do'' she whispered.

''Stay. Unpack your suitcases, because that whole hotel-idea is stupidity. Kinda like this whole idea of leaving'' Elliot said.

Olivia didn't know if she should be mad at Elliot for doing this or actually be happy.

''What's gonna happen between us if I stay El?'' she asked frightened.

''We'll start over. Try again'' Elliot said sweetly.

' Was he talking about continuing their relationship or whatever it was they were having' Olivia was thinking by herself.

''Elliot are you talking about-'' ''Yes Liv. I'm talking about that. I'm not giving up on us. I need you to do the same''.

Olivia could care less about how Elliot was seeing her and let the tears spill again.

''I'm...'' but she chocked on her words before she could complete her sentence.

''Tell me Liv, what are you?'' Elliot pushed gently.

**''I'm scared''** she whispered while she rests her head on his chest, finally enjoying the fact he's holding her so close.

''I know you are. We've been so close for so long, you don't want ruin that , by getting 'too' close. I get you. I feel the same way, but you want this just as much as I do. I just know you do. Our fear can't come between our happiness Liv. _**Give this a chance''.**_

Elliot finally let go of her wrists and Olivia sat down on the couch; her head was spinning. Elliot suddenly walked up to the suitcases standing against the door. ''Elliot what are you doing?'' she asked.

''Unpacking'' he answered. She couldn't believe he was actually throwing all her stuff out of the suitcases. ''Elliot!'' she yelled.

He walked up to her again and sat next to her as he cupped her face between his hands; ''You know you can't leave. You don't even want to''.

The worst part was that he was right; **she didn't.**

She slowly nod her head in agreement. ''You're right'' she said softly.

Elliot could finally let go of his breath he's been holding from the moment he entered her apartment.

''Liv, I know I told you I was going to give you space… But right now, I'm actually a bit scared to do so'' he admitted with a small smile.

She couldn't help but giggle a little.

**''I don't need space''** she suddenly blurted out. ''I don't need space, I made my decision. I want to try this. I want to give _**us **_a chance".

Elliot took a moment to take her words in, before crashing his lips on her.

He broke their kiss for a second and said: ''What about your stuff? Shall we unpack everything?''.

Olivia smiled; She knew he wanted her to unpack everything, so he could be 100% sure she's staying. But right now, she has other plans…..

''Let's unpack tomorrow. Let's enjoy each other now'' she said seductively as she kissed him again.

He cupped her breasts and she moaned in response.

''Bedroom?''

'' Good idea''

**A/N Okay so this started off a bit angsty, but I wanted to make this story romantic again. **

**This story is still going to have a lot of twists, I hope y'all bear with me on this story. REVIEWS mean a lot, so please leave one if you have the time ! **


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: sorry for the late update. This chapter will be more of a filling chapter. REVIEW and tell me what you'd like to see in the next chapter. I'll try to update ASAP. Enjoy! **

**OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOO**

She woke up in his arms again. Something she almost lost. She didn't move, didn't speak, she didn't want to do anything that might wake him up. She just wanted this moment to last a little bit longer. Just lying in his arms, In utter silence. She just wanted to enjoy something so new, but so safe.

She snuggled against him, softly kissing the inside of his arm. She felt him move closer against her and smiled. Just as she closed her eyes again, her phone rang.

"Oh no, not now" she moaned in agitation as she picked up her phone and answered: "Benson".

"I'm on my way. Yes Cap'ain. Bye".

She threw her phone next to her, watching Elliot, waiting for his phone to ring too.

As she predicted, his phone went off seconds after she had hang up hers. Elliot grunted loudly, stretching out as he blindly reaches for his phone. "Stabler" he said, his voice still sleepy.

Olivia wrapped her arms around his waist, waiting for him to hang up. Elliot smiled as he gently strikes her arm. "I'll be there soon. Bye Captain".

He turns to her as he hangs up the phone. "Good morning baby" he smiles.

"Good morning" she replies softly; smiling.

He pulls her closer against him, inhaling the scent of her hair, kissing the side of her head.

"Damn, I don't want this moment to end" he says into her ear.

She smiles, "Me neither" she admits.

"Just promise me you'll give me this moment again, tomorrow" Elliot says gently, but still demanding.

"I promise" she replies. And she meant it.

EOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEEOEOEOEOEOEEOEOEOEOEEOEOEOEOEOE OEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOE

Their day at work, seemed to become a hard one.

"Can you tell me what happened?" Olivia asked sweetly, looking right into the girl's eyes.

She has the same expression in her eyes as many of the person walking in here have; emptiness. Numbness.

It stays quiet for a while and Elliot and Olivia share a quick look with each other and turn their focus back on the girl in front of them. The first thought that crossed Elliot's mind when he saw her was 'she couldn't be more than 17 years old'.

"I don't know…Maybe this isn't a good idea" the girl says suddenly, panic present in her eyes and voice.

"I know this is scary, but you're already here. You will be just fine. We're gonna be here every step of the way. Just tell us what happened, so we can help you" Olivia explained patiently.

While the girl was tearing up, Olivia continued her soft approach to the girl; "Take your time".

EOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOE OEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEO

"Are you okay?" Elliot asked when he saw Olivia standing in the locker room, staring into the nothingness of her locker.

"Do you ever feel like every case seems to be more horrific than the other?" she said numbly.

"Yes…yes I do" Elliot replies softly.

"It just never ends, you know?" Olivia says, her voice cracking throughout the sentence.

He softly grabs her arm and turns her so she's facing him. "You're a great detective Liv. it's completely normal to feel emotional after hearing such a story. You're a police officer, no superhero".

"I know" she whispers.

"Elliot, Liv! We've got a problem!" they here their captain yell into the locker room.

They immediately run into the squad room again, finding their captain pointing at the interrogation rooms. "It's Emily!".

Elliot and Olivia rush into the interrogation room, seeing Emily get lifted onto a stretcher.

"What the hell happened?" Olivia asked astonished.

"She punched her own arm through the glass window" Fin answered.

"A suicide attempt" Elliot says softly.

"We shouldn't have left her alone, what were we thinking?" she said angrily.

"She asked for a break herself, Liv. We had Fin and Cragen observe her from behind the window. What were we supposed to do?".

Olivia shook her head wildly before she spoke again; "I'm gonna ride with her".

Elliot watched as he saw Olivia running after the paramedics and disappearing into the ambulance.

EOEOEOEOEOEOEEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEEOEOEOEEOEOE OEOEOEOEOEEOEOEEOEOEOE

"How is she doing?" Elliot asks her softly. He had just arrived at the hospital, after giving Olivia several hours to herself.

"She's asleep now. She was pretty shaken up, as expected" she answered softly.

"Don't blame yourself, Liv" he said while he pulled her closer, but she immediately stepped back, creating a bigger space between them.

"What's the matter?" Elliot asked surprise.

"What's the matter? Elliot, Emily is in the god damn hospital after we fucking decided to leave her alone! If it's not my fault, whose fault is it?" she said angrily.

Elliot, who wasn't expecting Olivia's outburst, decided not to get mad with her, knowing she wasn't thinking straight right now.

"It's not yours. Or mine. Or hers. I'd say it's the fault of whoever made her feel this way. And Liv, we will find out who it is. I promise. Let's go home and get back here tomorrow, trying to get more information from Emily, okay?" he said as he grabbed her arm and walked her towards the exit.

"Okay" she whispered, giving in to Elliot once again.

EOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEEOEOEOEEOEOEOEEOEOE EOEOEOEOEEOEOEOEOEOEOE

She was laying in his arms again; she'd been crying for a while now. She always cried for the victims. The only difference is that she used to cry alone, with no one by her side, while she's now crying into someone's arms. And as corny as it sounds, it really does feel better.

"You're okay?" he asked gently when he noticed the shaking and sobbing had stopped.

She softly nodded her head and smiled at him through the tears.

"Thanks" she whispered while she once again laid her head down on his chest.

He chuckled as he thought back to that oh-so-blissful morning. "Can I just hold you for a couple more minutes?" he asked softly.

She smiled against his chest as she replied; "I'd love to. By the way, I promised you".

"You promised me you'd give me another moment like that tomorrow morning" he corrected her sweetly.

"And now I'm promising you I'll give you this moment every single night and morning for the rest of our lives. I don't want you to ever let me go, El. Please never do".

EOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEEOEOEOEEOEOEOEO EOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOE

**A/N: I wanted this to be a chapter that focused on a 'normal' day out of Benson and Stabler's lives. REVIEW and tell me what you'd like to see in the next chapter. **


	7. Chapter 7

Her hands were sweaty and she could feel the adrenaline running through her veins.

"David, it's time to go home, don't you think?" she asked sweetly, invitingly holding her hand out.

"I can't" he replied through gritted teeth; his hand was shaking and his fingers moved an inch closer to that dangerous _**red button**_. She knew she had to shoot him if he was going to press it, but she was determent to get them both out of this situation alive.

"You can, David. You can" she said encouraging.

He started to tear up and for the first time in the whole case, Olivia could actually see the hurt and grief in his eyes.

"I believed him" David started shakily, "I actually believed in his innocence" he continued.

"Ofcourse you did, he's your dad. None of this is your fault" Olivia replied quickly; she actually felt so bad for this kid. He was just 17 years old and he just found out his dad was a rapist. It would be a lot to handle for any kid, but David already had his fair share of troubles and complications. Throughout the whole case, he had stood by his dad. Not believing a single thing of all the allegations against his dad. He had even spent a day in jail because he assaulted a police officer who came to arrest his father. His dad was the only person he had left in his life and now he's gone too; spending the rest of his life in jail for the rape of three teenage girls. David was crushed by his father's confession, so the fact he's now threatening to blow himself and Olivia up isn't that big of a _**shocker**_. It is a big _**problem**_ though..

"I went to jail for him!" he nearly yelled before gripping the device in his hand even tighter.

Olivia swallowed hard before lowering her gun a little, "David, I need to shoot you if I even think you'll press that button. Don't make me do it" she almost pleaded.

His body language changed and a sudden look of defeat and tiredness rushed over him, tears were falling down rapidly and with a soft voice he said: "_**Please shoot me".**_

Something inside of Olivia died at that moment; she had been a sex crimes detective for over 14 years now and she had seen so many teens give up, she was starting to doubt if all this was worth it.

"I promise you things will get better, just carefully put the bomb-trigger on the ground and slowly walk over here. We'll get you help and you'll move on with your life. Trust me" she said calmly; having completely lowered her gun.

"My dad did such terrible things….I'm his son. I don't want to _**be like him**_" he said through his sobs.

"You're not. You're nothing like your dad and you won't grow up to be like him. You need to trust me".

"You don't know me!" he yelled defensively, letting his hand get dangerously close to the red button.

Olivia quickly raised her gun again; her heart beating out of her chest. 'Don't' she whispered in her head, praying he wouldn't do it. If she had to shoot this kid today, she was going to lose it.

"But I know you're not defined by your parent's actions" she replied, desperately trying to get through this kid.

"You don't know anything about how I feel!" he said angry; tears blurring his view.

She swallowed the lump in her throat while lowering her gun again; "Yes…yes _**I do**_" she said softly.

A short silence fell between them and she finally found a way to connect with David. He looked at her with his lost look and waited for her to speak up.

She was trying to find the right words, but realized she just had to tell the truth. No sugar coating. She had to bond with this kid, he was sensitive to lies and she has to prevent him from getting too emotional.

"My dad…he used to hurt woman. He hurt my own mom. I've spent my whole life trying NOT to be like him. I tried to do everything right…" she started. David was paying close attention and for a split second Olivia thought he was giving in. She was wrong. But he definitely was paying more attention to her and less to the trigger in his hand.

"I tried to prove everyone I was a good person. But then I realized I wasn't anything like my farther in the first place. We aren't just defined by genes. You've been loyal to your dad the whole way through and you've never hurt anyone. You're a good kid, David. You're nothing like your father, just like I'm nothing like _**mine**_"…

His shoulders were violently shaking as his sobs took over his whole body. Without thinking Olivia took a couple steps closer to him, carefully holding the gun behind her; showing him she had no intent of shooting him at all.

"Hand it over to me, David" she said softly, referring to the trigger in his hand.

By now, David didn't even care anymore. He just wanted the pain to end and he needed help with that. Olivia's helping hand was something he couldn't ignore. He slowly handed the device to Olivia, while falling to the ground afterwards. Olivia kneeled down, pulling him against her, feeling him violently sob against her. Her heart was breaking but she had to be strong for him now.

"It's alright" she whispered as she stroke his back with one hand and carefully held the bomb trigger in the other.

A couple seconds later the police barged in, taking the trigger out of Olivia's hands and securely bringing it outside. She felt two hands on her shoulders and looked up to find Elliot hovering above her. "Give me a minute" she whispered gently. Elliot took another look at the sobbing kid in her arms and gave her an understanding nod.

"You made the right decision, David. You just proved you're nothing like him" she said softly while David slowly started to calm down.

"Let's go" she said gently while rising to her feet and handing out her hand. David grabbed her hand and let her lead him outside.

'_Thank God this turned out alright'_ she thought while looking behind her; glad she could leave that God forsaken place she had been standing in for the past 30 minutes.

* * *

She poured herself a well-deserved- glass of wine while sitting down on the couch.

She enjoyed the burning sensation of the liquor in her throat, she felt herself do something she hadn't done in a while**: relax**.

Two knocks on the door interrupted the silent peace she was just enjoying. She slowly made her way to the door.

"Liv, it's me" she heard Elliot say.

She quickly opened up and Elliot immediately made his way inside.

"Are you in a hurry?'' she asked smilingly.

"I just wanted to see how you were doing" he replied gently before pressing a soft kiss on her lips.

She still wasn't used to him kissing her so abruptly, but she wasn't complaining.

"I'm fine" she answered, "I'm just happy it's over".

"You were amazing, Liv" Elliot said almost admirably while sneaking up behind her and putting his arms around her waist.

She smiled and laid her head down in the crook of his neck.

"_**Will you stay tonight**_?" she asked sweetly.

"That was the plan" he said teasingly as he spun her around and pressed her chest against his.

She slowly started to forget about the stress she endured today and witnessed some sense of happiness again.

"I love you" he mumbled against her neck, earning a high chuckle from Olivia.

"I love you too" she said as she lifted his head and kissed him; finally realizing that everything she endures during the job is totally worth it as long as she can come home to _**him.**_

* * *

**A/N: So here's another chapter. If you guys have any suggestions for the next chapter, I'd love to hear them. Please REVIEW.**


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